I've decided that I've been too discouraged lately. I've been swamped with emotions of abandonment, loss, frustration, anxiety, confusion, exhaustion....all over a plethora of grandiose issues like my relationship with my family, DH, IL's, boss at work...the list can go on and on. I can feel myself slipping into bad posture, fatigue, etc. and I know this is not a path I want to go down. I need to dig deep and find a way to make sure I remain on track so I can see MY dreams realized.
This evening when I get home from work, I'm going to create a dream board and share it with everyone. It will include clippings of quotes I love, images that inspire me, and it will stand for everything I believe in and everything that I want. This way, when I'm feeling discouraged, I can look at the pictures I've included on the board and feel a re-inspired "me" beneath all the yuckiness.
Stay tuned for that.
In other news, I have to say that I've discovered that my new boss is a bit of an N. He enjoys yelling at telling other people how insignificant and stupid they are, and have brought many of my co-workers to tears now (another one quit). For example, he told my coworker that she messed up issuing a check when he sat with her and helped her do it. Afterwards, he told her that the only answer he wanted to the issue was that "she was wrong and apologetic." She conceded, but found herself as confused and frustrated as I had been many times in my life with my NM. It is strange, but I have to say my experience with my out-of-control NM has made the situation easier for me to handle and allows me to move on with my day because...for lack of a better phrase...I've had it worse. I know how to deal with someone who thinks he or she said and done everything perfectly and can't admit their mistakes. NM is the queen of that. She'd tell me she said something that she didn't and I'd be stuck with the blame. He kind of does the same thing, especially to the other woman that works with me (who is a doll and listens to all of my griping for an unnaturally long amount of time). This is cake to me. However, the issue I'm grappling with right now is whether I should have to put up with people like that. Maybe they find me and feed off of my subordinate nature while facing authority. DH says I should stick around and see how it continues, as I'm not really the one who has had the major issues with him. That's what I'm going to go with right now, and I'm going to rely on his fresh insight to tell me if the situation goes south. Knowing me, I'd probably stick it out forever, even if I were miserable and never got a raise, because I'd probably think I deserved it. Good thing I can recognize this issue now, at least that's a step in the right direction.
To all of you who are struggling with NMs and NFs, please feel free to get in touch with me.