Brief.

This post has to be brief because I have some things going on at work, and I have a whole bunch of budgeting and planning to do.

DH and I found a place to live yesterday that is actually PERFECT but is stretching the budget in ways that are profound. We're going to try to make it work by making sure both of us pick up enough work time to cover everything we have to cover.

Like I've mentioned before, I'm going to get some assistance from my aunt and my uncle who live close to where we're living, and that help is going to make such a difference in so many ways.

Stay tuned for budgeting and photos, etc.

Sorry to be so quick!

Damnit.

Well, my blog is definitely not as fun or as optimistic as my godbrother's  blog (Side note: are godbrothers even real, or is he just my friend at this point?). I get poor and I'm whining like a child about it....he gets leukemia and is making everyone laugh.  I feel really stupid now. (Go to his blog at Eff Leukemia)


But really though, I've discovered the severity of this financial bind as everything came to a head with the IL's yesterday. More parental issues to add to the bag. FIL telling DH that he is terrible for all sorts of reasons like his work ethic etc. etc. Too bad he actually has vertigo and doesn't want to do any damage to himself or the materials he works with until he sees the doctor and feels such a sense of embarrassment and feels totally insufficient around him all the time. Maybe DH is SoNF? Fast forward to today, submitted an application for health insurance, but oh! that will take two weeks. Fun. So we're basically stuck in this financial limbo right now where I literally have to allocate every dollar to where it is going to go during the week and that is simply not fun business. He doesn't have the freedom of the money he was making at the moment because he has a hard time moving his head too quickly! Gahhh!  However, I found a budgety-type spreadsheet on The Peaceful Mom's website that is going to help me do that. Between the both of us, after I pay for all of the nonsense I have to pay for to play catch up, we have like, $100 each which is tolerable but also ridiculous for grown adults. I had to take this job at the salary I did because times are tough and the economy is a piece of shit.


Hopefully the savings will start adding up and I'll have to worry less. I don't even know where to begin with my worries right now. I feel like I did when I was living with my parents all of a sudden. And that's never good.

Money, money, money

So, in the past couple of days I've had to think a lot about my financial situation, as I've mentioned. I come from a place where things were essentially handed to me (although it was in exchange for reverence and fear), and so ultimately I've found myself in a very weird situation. I am a grown adult and I have no idea what I'm doing in terms of budgeting myself besides general intuition on how much to spend (and not to spend). This is not an effective process for a couple that was forced into debt thanks to a really sticky situation. Something has got to change, it has to give. I really find discussing my financial situation pretty uncomfortable, simply because society tells you it's something you're really not supposed to talk about -- You're not supposed to let people know you're sad or struggling or in need of some kind of guidance. However, I think it's necessary to discuss my confusion and fears and how I plan on going about the things I have to take care of to make myself better in the head, in the pocket, and all around. So, be prepared for me to lay it all out on the line.

We're living with my IL's right now, and even though I like them, it totally sucks. They think it sucks too. It causes unnecessary stress because I feel grateful and simultaneously strangled by their constant presence, and this cacophony of emotions makes me one moody-ass beeotch. It makes DH stressed which makes HIM a moody-ass beeotch. That makes IL's upset, and so ensues a massive whirlwind of upset. This causes emotional strain between us, and we all know that is not a good thing for a recently married couple, or for any couple for that matter. Sometimes we can get away to my BIL's house and that somewhat recharges our batteries, but for the most part I'm living in super stressed conditions thinking about all this stuff. Moral of this long nonsense? We need to move out. Moving out costs money, and quite a bit of it.

DH is working with SIL's fiancee but has had this vertigo thingie that is making it hard for him to work. Without his income, we go nowhere because I am making like, $17/hr during a regular 40 hour work week and that just isn't enough to get us out in time. I just started working like, three weeks ago so that SURELY isn't enough to get us out in time. However, I need to get health insurance ASAP so he can go to the doctor and get to working again. Bye bye, more money!

This then leads me to being reminded of the cat I have that I REFUSE to get rid of (she was my first baby and will be with me until she dies! No shelters allowed!). I was FORCED to get rid of the dog due to the stressful conditions (given to a family friend, so I'm not really concerned with where he ended up, at least). I am also barraged with cell phone bills and credit card debt along with DH's child support debt (8 year old, we'll get to her at another point) and some outstanding hospital bills.

Let's throw in that he didn't file taxes last year by accident.

I am getting knots in my stomach and tight in the chest even writing about this.

I can't take thinking about this all at once, so I'm going to make a spreadsheet tonight and budget us in a proper way so we can figure out more effectively how to tackle this, because I think I may jump off a bridge thinking about it if I don't.

We need to come up with the money to live in a comfortable and stable manner. I don't care if I have to take a job on the weekends for now. What has to be done, has to be done. Fortunately, I don't have kids of my own yet to worry about, and DSD (dear step-daughter) gets help from her mama. I will keep you updated on how I go about this issue; if you have any suggestions, let me know.